Relationships & Sexuality

Chapter 4 is all about our relationships and understanding of ourselves. Sexuality is an important role to our relationships. Knowing and understanding ourselves is in important and beneficial to oneself and relationships with others. Our sexuality is based on our self-image, how we identify, our happiness, fertility, and health. Our biological sex, gender, anatomy and physiology, and sexual functions are the beginning of our sexuality. Also, our ability to relate to others, our beliefs, values, and attitudes on how we see ourselves as a sexual person are all part of our sexuality.

There are different relationships that people embark. Some relationships are romantic, family, friends, and own self. One of the most important relationship to have with any of the above, is an intimate relationship. An intimate relationship does not mean having a sexual relationship. But being able to have behavioral interdependence, need fulfillment, emotional attachment, and emotional availability. Behavioral interdependence is the mutual impact that people have on each other as their connect closely. An intimate relationship need fulfillment. We need to fulfill our needs of intimacy, social integration, nurturance, assistance, and affirmation. A person needs to feel that they can share feelings with other, can share their worries and concerns, someone who will take care of and vice versa, someone who is going to be there to help you, and someone who is going reassure your worth and tell us that we matter. Emotional attachment is the feeling of being loved. And the last characteristic is emotional availability. Here is the ability to give to and receive other emotionally without fear of being hurt or rejected.

To any relationships, friends family or romantic, the most important relationship to have is with ourself. Having the self-nurturance  is important. Self-nurturance is having the balance and realistic appreciation of self-worth and ability. Not being ability to have self-esteem and/or self concept can damage your relationship with others. I know that I am not prefect in this area. I have been working on myself for the past year. I know this was one of the reason of my last relationship. Towards the end of the relationship, I stopped loving myself and lost myself through the past 3 years of being together. He wasn’t the most pleasant person to be in a relationship, looking back, and I started to become who he wanted me to be. Thank goodness that relationship is over.

One of the top subjects on chapter 4 was Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love. Sternberg says that there is three key components to a loving relationship. These three components are intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy is the emotional component where you share, give mutual support, and have a closeness. Passion is the motivational component, where lust, attraction, sexual arousal and sharing. Commitment is the cognitive component, where you decide to open to love in the short term and commitment to a long term relationship. A combination of all key would be consummate love, according to Sternberg.

Throughout chapter 4, the chapter covers what makes a healthy relationship, skills to better communication, committed relationships, coping with break ups. Some quick important facts that I found where:

  • The three fundamentals of elements of a healthy relationship; predictability, dependability, and faith.
  • Proximity, similarities, and physical attraction influence on choosing a romantic partner.
  • Self-disclosure is a the key to creating a healthy communication
  • Use technology responsibly
  • Understand the different interpretation between men and women process messages; facial expression, speech patterns, body language, behavioral differences.
  • Become a better listener; avoid distractions, be present in the moment, focus on the speaker, control desire to interrupt.
  • Making sure your nonverbal communication matches and supports verbal communication; touching, gestures, facial expressions, body language, tone of voice
  • Conflict resolution; identify the problem, generate possible solution, evaluate solutions, decide on the best solutions, implement the solution, follow up
  • Coping with break ups; knowing that you are going through a rough spot, let go of negative thought patterns, spent time with family and friends, don’t rush into a “rebound”

The rest of chapter 4, the chapter covers our sexual identity. Which is our recognition and acknowledge of oneself as a sexual being. This is knowing your gender identity. Knowing if you are a woman or a man. Which is not what gender you were born as but what your inside self feels. This section also covers sexual orientation. Which refers to a person’s emotional, romantic, sexual, or affectionate attraction to others. People can be heterosexual, homosexual (gay or lesbian), bisexual.

The rest of the chapter covers the sex anatomy of both male and females.

How does relationships and sexuality relate to my health aspect of clean eating. One way it does is my relationship with food. I have battled with this relationship my whole teenager/adult life. I have tried to change my patterns, which I can honestly say that my clean eating has been going pretty well. Also, I have a very supportive family that help me stick to my clean eating. My parents and I try to keep each other in check with our clean eating. Without their caring, loving, support, I would have given up by now. But since they keep me going it helps. Also, this chapter relates to my health aspect with the PMS part. Boy, its hard to stay on track when PMS. However, I have looked for cleaner eating alternatives, like dark chocolate, fruit.

As for my cleaning eating, it has been going ok. My plans got changed during the week because of a death in the family. I was up in NH, for the majority of the end of the week and weekend. I tried to be as health conscious as I could be, but my number one focus was on my cousin and his wife. Even though I had this bump, I got back on track on Monday and have been doing pretty well on the last couple of days. No new recipes for this week. Starting to map out next weeks dinner, hoping to find something delicious to make. One good thing about the weather getting colder….soup season!


My parents, myself, and my cousin Bridget at Country Fest in August. img_4366


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